Unsanity FanFic Thread.

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By Mystir

James unbuttoned his jeans, a coy smile crossing his face. "HAWT DAWG" exclaimed Tom, already anticipating what was in store. James slowly lowered the waistband of his jeans, exposing his poutine, dripping with gravy.  "I hope you like the taste of cheese curds," said James, lubricating himself with maple syrup.

The soft glow of the moonlight laid upon Tom's face like a fine French makeup, illuminating his curiosity, and twinkling in his eye. This was too much for the young man to handle. Tom was scared. Afraid of the feelings that welled up below his diaphragm, afraid of the goosebumps that skittered across his bare flesh, afraid of experiencing the pleasure he had denied himself for so long. James gently caressed Tom's hair, internally mesmerized by the feather-texture, like an alpaca's ass. He ran his hand down the side of Tom's head, behind the ear, and gently traced the outline of Tom's carotid, imagining the hot blood coursing inside. Bearing his fangs, James drew Tom close and drank deeply, feeling the intoxication flowing through his gut like a shot of whiskey on a cold night. He may be undead, but he never felt so alive. Tom let loose a visceral bellow like a caged beast finally let free. His shoulder rippled as the fur sprang from his goosebumps, reaching for the smiling moon. The transformation fully taking form, Tom crouched and groaned, his bones creaking, screaming.

Tom's pants stretched, finally shredding apart as a long, paddle-like tail shot out from his butt like a tongue blowing a raspberry. "I always loved beaver," hissed James excitedly, the effects of the blood in full swing, Tom's sweet, honey essence pooling in James' loins.

"And I love chewing on wood," said Tom coquettishly, wrapping a clawed paw around James' waist, drawing him in closer. "Just watch out for my buck teeth."

The embrace only lasted a brief moment, but for Beau waiting behind the bush nearby, it felt like an eternity. His heart ached to be part of the vampirebeaver party, but the soft light of James' red pupils intimidated him far too much to make a move.
Fortunately, a beaver's hearing is beyond reproach, and Tom chittered out happily, "Beau, you naughty boy, I think you need a spanking." James sprung into action, leaping to the bush like a frog seeing a fly, and grabbed Beau by the scruff of his neck
"Yes, you've been quite bad." James yanked off Beau's pants in one smooth motion, momentarily blinded by the white skin. As excited as Beau was, he couldn't help but be frustrated by Aneidoru's spoilers.
In sheer anger, and fear at the pain of Tom's tail, Beau whispered under his breath, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nag" Suddenly the moon vanished.

The cool night air froze, and the quiet earth shivered with fright as an enormous, furred beast rose from the mist. James dropped Beau with a start, backing up slowly at the hulking figure. "A-are you...Cthulhu_the_3rd?" stammered James, his normally sullen voice cracking with fright.

"You have awakened me from my slumber, and I hunger," boomed a voice without sound, blasting the minds of the three mortals.

"Which of you can spare about tree-fiddy so I can buy a sandwich?" Tom dropped to his knees, tears down his cheeks like the Nile. "Oh god, Beau, what have you done?"

Beau smiled victoriously. "I have summoned the Loch Ness Monster."

THE END

glorious

Amazing

Just for clarification, at one point I was writing Beau to get spanked by Tom's tail, but Aneidoru called the shot, so I changed it. Hence the comment about her spoilers.

By Mystir

Spiral sat down at his desk, peering out the window of his penthouse office. "I'm glad I finished my PhD studies in big penisology," he mused, while toying with the button on his intercom. His finger darted to the button, a slight crackle of static signifying the line was open. "Miss Nicole, can I see you for a moment?"

"No. I quit, Bye." With that, Nicole left forever.
THE END

Based off Nicole's signature gif

Tom worked hard on his stream, developing a professional show with a devoted community. It was hard work, and it was not the work of one man. Tom had the devotion, the support, and importantly...the love of James. When things became hard, James was there. When Tom couldn't plow on, James was there. And that night, James was there.

Tom had struggled too long on the boss fight, and his friend sensed a growing frustration. Appearing in the doorway like Ganon's shadow, James shambled forward. "Woah, I'm busy!" Tom threw up his hands defensively to ward off the aggressive advances of the hulking manbeast.

"Really, I'll try harder, I'll win this time," cried Tom, becoming increasingly nervous as James drew closer. James only smiled more, his eyes flaming with the embers of a deep passion. Tom waved his arms, warding off the testosterone-enraged attacker. The flurry of movement only fueled James on, and he pounced, his legs uncoiling like a pit viper sensing a mouse. Landing on Tom with his full body weight, Tom's chair toppled, spilling both onto the floor, the warmth of James' body spreading like a blanket across Tom's exhausted chest.

Barely able to struggle, Tom weakly pushed against James' rippling pectorals, unable to budge the bronzen adonis now laying atop him. James' already-large smile grew even more, into a grotesque cheshire cat impression, and even farther. His lips parted, the top half of his head flapping open like a bag caught in the breeze. "Hey Phillip, what do we do with this hoser?"

An equally grotesque Canadian waltzed through the doorway drunkenly. "Why, Terrance, we give him a Canadian rose!" With a jovial twist, Terrance spun around and landed a fart directly on Tom's balls. Screaming in pain, Tom writhed like a scared insect caught in a spider web, but James' serpentine tail only coiled tighter around his legs. Further unhinging his jaw, James pulled Tom ever-closer. The pungent odor was flipping Tom's stomach, when suddenly another figure entered the room.

"Mom!" exclaimed Tom excitedly, his savior finally nigh.

"Thomas, I raised you to be a nicer boy than this, and yet I find you fighting with your friends!"

"But-" started Tom.

"But nothing. I'm tired of your shenanigans. I'm sending you to live with your auntie and uncle." And just like that, Tom's life flipped and turned upside down.

By Mystir (Extended/Re-made By Realone234)

Spiral sat down at his desk, peering out the window of his penthouse office. "I'm glad I finished my PhD studies in big penisology," he mused. His mind began to fray from him, Spiral began to think, he began to fantasize. he thought about his beautiful yet volatile secretary. He thought about all the things he wanted to do to her, all the things he wasn't actually man enough to do.

"I wish you were here with me: Nicky." he soon met with an ill-fate... he was now starring down at the 3-inch problem he had inside of his hidden man-cave, never seen by a female, but not a stranger to males. He unzipped his pants only to be greeted with a balls of socks in his trousers that he had placed there that morning. He closed his eyes to a place where haters did not exist, and being egotistical was mandatory.

"NicoleEpic... I would follow you in Death, I would commit Suicide for you, I am so Hot for you..." he slowly began using his Left hand to stroke that which he has studied so intensely, for a moment he thought of his boss Duffchick, that thought was then quickly repulsed from his mind. Spiral then found himself imagining a slave of his secretary, weaker, more willing, and one who had larger ballistics (now E-cups). "I am here to serve you master, I only need you to say it and I will hunger for it" she said with a twinkle in her eye, although her eyes may be bright, there is no soul behind them. He is enjoying his fantasy only for it to be ruined by the instant realization, that he had finished a bit too early than he had liked. He was still hungry for Nicole he sat, pondering at his desk.

toying with the button on his intercom. His finger darted to the button, a slight crackle of static signifying the line was open. "Miss Nicole, may I ask to see you for a moment?" he sat wondering how she'd react when he told her his feelings, anger, sorrow, lust. He decided that with his charisma and looks, that it would most likely be lust.

"No sir, I must non-respectfully hand in my letter of resignation, you asshat" As she squealed this, she led on a secret to Spiral "The intercom was on when you were mind-fucking me" with those words, she walked out the entrance doors to the building. Never, to be seen by Spiral, again.

THE END

OMG Realone the fucking usernames...

I integrate everything that matters nicole xD

By Mystir

Chilly stretched a paw forward, feeling her tight muscles ripple and loosen. Her fur rippled gently as she stepped through her stretches, the last remnants of her nap leaving her body. Her belly radiated an inquisitive hunger, and her mind snapped into a predatorial focus.

Like a menopausal woman with no kids, Chilly went on the prowl. Each shadow flittered like a frightened animal. But she only wanted one thing. She spotted Tom's leg across the room like a redwood sentinel. The strength, the power, the sheer masculinity tickled her kitty mind with an intrigue.
Toeing her way forward, Chilly kept her eyes trained firmly on Tom's shoe. That rock anchored her desire firmly on the ground, and gave her a perfect route up to Tom's-

Just then, she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. Darting, Chilly hurtled through space following the blurred shape. The mouse squeezed through a crack at the floorboard, but Chilly wasn't quick enough. With a start, she simultaneously ploughed into the wall and awoke with a start, slowly realizing she was still tucked under the couch, wrapped in a grey-green blanket.

A crack of light appeared behind her, as Tom lifted the curtain and spoke some unintelligible words. Not understanding, and quite irritable at losing her sleep, Chilly curved around the leg of the couch, seeking a darker area to reclaim her lost nap.

THE END

The Mystery of the Dead Baby Pizza and the Creep

    "The man who did this seemed to spawn the babies out of thin air, then he killed them and filled them with..." the man with light skin tone and fairly regular haircut "with... bread, bacon, and cheese" he began to look slightly more green than he once started, then he started to profusely vomit. "I can't believe I ate that sh-" "Sir, thank you for your time" said the officer to my left, Office Mystir, "I'll escort you off the premises, I know you don't want to be here." I nodded at him, he opened his mouth and slyly blurted out "Think you can hold down the fort Officer EpicFail?" "You don't have to call me EpicFail, that was my father's name, call me Nicole." He nodded and escorted the man who name that she could only recall as "A Real One" or "Two" or was it "Three" maybe "Four"? In other news, I spoke to the chef who baked the 'Dead Baby Pizza' some time later.

    "Sir, did you know what you were baking?" "He held a gun to my head, I didn't like, but he made me do it" "I'm sorry, what's your name again, sir?" "The kitchen hands call me 'Flemgrinkle'." "Did you catch the name of the perp?" "When he was taking the huge stars on the walls he mumbled something about his family not making fun of him anymore." "What were the exact words he said?" "um it was... 'that damned sister of mine will never make fun of me, TOM, again! to bad it takes stars to turn her back into human.' that's all." after 2 more hours of talking with the chef I found nothing except the perp's name: Tom, and info that he may live in a barn. I regrouped with my partner relaying the information.

    "Really? the creep lives in a barn?" Mystir asked me as we walked to the squad car to apprehend the assailant. "Well that's only what I gathe-" Suddenly there was a huge explosion as Mystir opened that car door, l was blown back, I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, I felt numb, I lay there in a stupor, I passed out.

   I sat up and was greeted by blood flooding down my eyelashes. I tried to stand up, I was helped up by what looked like my partner. "Mystir? Is that you?" I fumbled with my words, and my eyesight immediately became clear. It wasn't Mystir it was a man who wore a black dress shirt, a blue tie, and an unkempt beat officer outfit over it, and a wierd hat under the normal officer's hat "I'm afraid you are seeing double miss Mystir" he chuckled "What how did you know about that?" "It's not that taboo miss EpicFail, everyone knows, or at least everyone knows, NOW, probably because I told them, strange what you can do with a dead officer's suit" "you... bastard, what did you do with him?!"
"Oh him? he's in the hospital, I'm not as much of a monster as you make me out to be." "you made a man cook dead babies into a pizza, you sick fuck!" "That? I just needed the stars!" "You fuck!" I tried to take a swing at him and missed. "Madame, please! Come with me" he began to drag me into a dentist's chair and strapped me down. "Miss, I'm going to help you out, and I will ease your pain... forever" he picked up a bonesaw "do you know why I use knives? because guns are too qui-" Another loud bang put me into pain-induced cringe. I opened my eyes to see Tom fall down with the same shit-eating grin before the bang, behind him stood Mystir with an ice-pack in the left hand placed to the left side of his forehead, and a 9mm gun with a smoking barrel. "Mystir!" I cried with relief "It's alright Nicole, I'm here... I'm here..."

   2 months later... Both me and my partner recovered from our wounds, and the experience from the crime has only made our relationship stronger... until recently we have been getting strange message from a man named... Tom (TO BE CONTINUED???????) 

Nicole and Mysterious Madame Milochi in: The Case of the Cotton Candied Dildos (Whole different universe than the Tom Baby Pizza Universe)

One fateful night Nicole and her Counterpart Miss M, find a package on their doorstep, "Nicole, did someone knock on the door?" she asked, Miss Milochi is wearing a mysterious Tee-shirt (with a pink floyd logo on the front) and skinny jeans, although knowing the answer, "Yes, I believe 'twas, shall you get the damn package, woman?" Nicole says, she is wearing a baggy black jacket, with no shirt of any kind beneath the jacket, and baggy jeans, with a twinkle in her eye she winks, as if mocking her for her sexuality, "Alright, I shall be back in a second." Miss Milochi returns with a medium size box that reads, in big letters on the side of the box, 'COMES WITH SPECIAL WHITE FLUID' Nicole was puzzled, and barked at Milohchi to: "Open it up, scrub!" "You don't have to yell, Nicky" With a quick swipe from her dagger (from her pocket), Milochi opened the box with much of a surprise as thirty pink dildos flopped and vibrated inside the box. Nicole then immediately thought of her Ex: Benedict Cumberbuns, the man she called god, and had "prayed" at his knees. Both the girls looked at each other and said, in synchronization, "Did you get this for me?" The girls started not to care, a free sex toy is free unfathomable amount of hours of fun. Nicole took one out of the box, and whispered in Milohchi's ear "Want to try this one first?" Milohchi was not sure how to answer this as she was the sheltered one her whole life without much confidence of speaking about her personal preference of 'didlos' as she called them, with respect for a man long long remembered for the excellent facade he could put on in front a group of willing subjects. "I mean I don't kn-UGH" Nicole got bored of what for an answer from Milochi, and shoved the dildo inside of her mouth anyway. Milohchi tried to speak for a second, then tasted the dildo again, "This is... odd, It tastes like cotton candy." "Really? let me try  it then." Nicole took the dildo Milohchi was holding and shoved it in her mouth, the dildo was about 7 inches long about 1 inch thick so Nicole couldn't get it too far down her throat. "The farther it goes down your throat the sweeter it tastes." "well, who sent this anyway?" Milohchi, then checked the box again, it said 'From Colorado, Denver. Re-Alone Inc. Buyer: FunnyGuy Josh' "Don't we know a Real-one?" Milohchi asked, Nicole shrugged the question off, as her tastebuds were in heaven. Nicole never told anybody this, but when she was a teenager and went to the fair, she was sexually turned on by the taste of cotton candy. After about a half hour something strange started to happen Milohchi started to get drowsy, and then Nicole started to get drowsy. They both proceeded to pass out on the floor next to each other.

(TO BE CON-TORTURED PART 1/2!!!!!!!!!!!1!!111!ONE!1!!1!!11)   *SPOILER* THE WHITE FLUID *SPOILER*

Realone234 wrote:

Nicole then immediately thought of her Ex: Benedict Cumberbuns, the man she called god, and had "prayed" at his knees.

...-gets up and walks away-

You super love it though, it's all in good fun Kappa